A Few Thoughts On Mother’s Day This Year

Today I am totally changing direction from the post and recipe I had planned to share. I was going to talk oven fries and tips for cooking them, but I felt like I needed to share something totally non food related today. I hope that is okay with you all.

I don’t know about you, but this year the weeks leading up to Mother’s Day have left me with a case of the I wants and I wishes.

As I look around at magazine articles and internet sites and listen to radio and T.V. ads, I end up losing site of what Mother’s Day is and truly should be.

If I listen to those ads I should be receiving large bouquets of flowers or chocolate covered strawberries delivered to my door. If I pay attention to those magazine articles and internet sites I should be expecting breakfast in bed, a fancy dinner, the gift of my “dreams”, or the entire day off.

This year I have struggled to ignore all that. This year I wish I could turn off the what the world is telling me Mother’s Day should be, because that is not reality, at least in my world, and I am guessing not in most of your worlds.

Now don’t get me wrong if your husband or family blesses you with packages, gifts, and a fancy meal, I think it is great, but for many of us it is just not reality.

Do you know why all that it is not reality? It is because on Mother’s Day we are still Mother’s. There are still meals to be cooked, dishes to clean, messes to be made, and in many houses diapers to be changed. We are mothers and we still have responsibilities even on Mother’s Day. And for most of us we would not have it any other way. 

Yes, the days are long, but as the saying goes the years are also short. Yes, in the midst of all of the work of being mom we long for a break, but we need to remember that all that work and mess is what makes us a mom.

In my house there will be no breakfast in bed. There will be no fancy meals made. And there will be no fancy gift wrapped up in a beautiful package. And I am fine with that.

Breakfast in bed won’t happen for me on Sunday because Sunday mornings are a bit chaotic at our house as we try to get everyone ready, breakfast made, and out the door to church.The reality though is that there is no place I would rather be on Mother’s Day than sitting in church with my family. Breakfast in bed doesn’t even come close to comparing to that for me.

There will not be any fancy meals at my house either. My husband is not a cook. He does not enjoy it and really is not that good at it. And do you know what? I am fine with that.

The kitchen is my place. Not in a the women has to be in the kitchen kind of way either. I enjoy it. I like it being my area. My thing. My territory to have control over. I think we get along a lot better if he stays out of the kitchen. It works for us. So, if I want a fancy meal on Mother’s Day, yes I would rather spend the afternoon in the kitchen fixing it myself. In fact, I would probably enjoy an afternoon in the kitchen all to myself more than a meal being made for me.

Large packages with a fancy gift inside will probably not be happening at my house either. After almost 19 years of marriage I have accepted that fact that my husband is not much of a gift giver. Now don’t get me wrong, I usually get a gift, but there have been a few gifts that we still talk about because they were a “can you believe you gave me that for a gift” kind of gift. But the reality is I am fine with that.

My husband gives me a lot of other gifts. He goes to work each and every day and works hard so that I have been able to stay home with our kids. He works hard around our house and property. He has provided me with a life far beyond anything I ever thought I would have. And those gifts can’t be measured to any gift that can be wrapped in a package.

My Mother’s Day may look nothing like what I see in magazines and other places, but that is fine because I am very thankful for the life I do have.

None of our lives may look like what we see around us, but this Mother’s Day I encourage you to focus on what you have and not what you don’t have.

You may not have breakfast in bed, a fancy meal, or the day off, but look around at how you do get to spend your day and who you get to spend it with. You may not have a beautiful package to open, but look around at all the gifts you do have. Even if your world  around you looks nothing like you hoped, I am sure you can find a gift in it.There is always something to be thankful for.

Focus on the fact that you are simply blessed to be a mom!

I can’t leave this post without saying a word to those that long to be a mom. I was there not all that long ago. I know the struggles and the pain. I know the tears that have been shed. Take a little time today for yourself. Go out to dinner. Buy that book you have been longing to read. Buy a treat you have been wanting. It is okay to take a little time for you. To grieve. To pray. To focus. But then I encourage you to go focus on someone or something else.

The best way I have found to deal with my discouragement with my own life is to focus on others. My life and problems always seem small when I look around at how I can help others with their problems. Doing encouraging things for others always encourages me. (Some day I will write a whole post on that subject.)

Even though it is hard, try to focus on someone else. Offer that mom with three kids under five some encouragement or help. Spend some time with that older person you know that has family across the country or that is too busy to care about her on Mother’s Day. Find that friend or person that is like you, longing for something they don’t have. Share your heart with each other. They may be looking for encouragement through this time just like you are. And most of all don’t give up. You never know what your future will hold and what surprises you may have ahead.

I would love to hear what are you thankful for this year? 

 

Lynn's Kitchen Adventures

Comments

  1. Lynn…I wanna say I loved! your post. Thank YOU!!! I wasted too many years as a young mom thinking there was something WRONG at our house with how Mother’s Day was not celebrated in a huge way. My husband after all was quick to say well you aren’t my mother…and I grieved that, and was upset all day over it. Now with two 20 something children I realize it’s just a day on a calendar and how everyone treats me all the rest of the year is what is noteworthy. What I am thank for….two young adults I have had the privilege to raise for the Lord. My husband does not attend church with us or share our belief, yet was always supportive of us being there and being active in children/youth activities. I am thankful that both of by children love God and are serving Him the best they know how at this stage of their life journey. They are kind and giving young people. This Thanksgiving I broke both bones in my right leg….a long winter of healing and rehab…I am thankful I can walk and am back out in my flower beds………I am thankful for my husband who took care of me, worked 40 hours a week, came home and cooked and cleaned and did the laundry…all things that are also my territory…..sat on the couch this winter and tried hard to not direct the way it should be done. I am thankful for simple things….blue sunny skies (something we dont’ take lightly in Michigan..LOL), a kindness to someone, clean air to breathe, a house to shelter us, an employed husband,…the list goes on……and on.

    • Thanks! I agree, when my kids were very little, I often lost site of this. In the middle of a busy life we often forget to look around at what we do have. I am so glad your leg is healing and that you are getting around better. I hope you have a very happy Mother’s Day!

  2. Jodi Pavlik says:

    Hi Lynn,
    I love this post! I am totally with you on so many of your points. I look forward to church with my family on Sunday. That, to me, is the absolute most important. I also like that the kitchen is “my place”. I prefer the only time my hubby is in the kitchen is when we are eating or when he is doing the dishes :) He just asked me this morning what I wanted and I simply said, I have everything I could possibly want or need right now! I am most thankful for my kids, my husband and my parents and grandparents.

    Have a blessed Mothers Day!

  3. Perfect. I needed all these reminders.

  4. Lisa C. says:

    Beautiful post, well worth reading. I am thankful and make sure that I thank God numerous times a day for my husband, children, and a loving wonderful Mom and Step-father. Family is the most important to me. It seems every major holiday is over commericalized any more, telling us what me should and must do in order to be that good husband, wife, mother, father, daughter, son, etc. Family is forever!

    • I agree, family is what is important on Mother’s Day not what we may or may not get because family is family and things are just things. I hope you have a very happy Mother’s Day.

  5. Very well stated. Our husbands are probably brothers…lol…I agree that I have learned to be quite happy with his faithfulness and willingness to walk through life together. Life is far more than the abundance of presents and there is great peace with contentment.

    • I agree and once I accepted that fact days like Mother’s Day are much more enjoyable. :-) I hope you have a great Mother’s Day!

  6. Loved this post! I am so thankful that I have a beautiful, healthy, happy wonderful 9 year old daughter but before I was blessed with her, I miscarried my first child on Mother’s Day. Mother’s Day has always been a hard day for me for that reason. But this post was just what I needed to remind me that I have so much to be thankful for this Mother’s Day! Just getting a hug and a smile are all I really need any day of the year!

    • I am glad you were encouraged by it. That was my hope with this post. I hope you have a nice Mother’s Day this year!

  7. Samantha says:

    WOW. perfect timing on this post for sure. thank you for this.

  8. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS POST! These reminders were just what I needed! Thank you!

  9. janice obrien says:

    What a GREAT post! I hope you have a wonderful Mothers day!

  10. This post is just what I needed to read today after getting some unwanted news!! I am thankful for my healthy, happy, beautiful 7 year old girls and my amazing husband that came along and swept the three of us off our feet and has shown me that there are truly amazing people in this world. I am thankful to have a job and a home and great friends! Once I stop focusing on that one thing that is bothering me, there are too many things to count to be thankful for! Thank you for opening my eyes to that.

  11. Roberta says:

    Love this post! Yes, we need to be content with the family God gave us; comparing ourselves to others just causes discontent. Thank you for sharing from your heart. By the way, I really enjoy your recipes!!

  12. WiffytoJ says:

    I always enjoy your posts but I LOVED this post. Such great things to think about and be reminded of. I’m so grateful that God has given my husband a good job preaching the Word and that it is important to my husband as well as me that I stay home with our children and homeschool and take care of our home. I’m blessed beyond measure and if we don’t have the newest vehicles, the latest gadgets, or the biggest house, it’s no biggie. I’m right where I should be and loving it!

  13. I am thankful for my husband of 23 year’s who has stayed with me through 2 autism diagnosis’s, numerous hospitalization’s,more miscarriages than I can count,numerous problem’s during both full pregnancy’s and deliveries,panic attack’s and homeschooling our son’s.I thank God for him and the many way’s he has blessed us over the year’s and the blessing of two children that the doctor’s said I would never have.After having died and been brought back during each birth,I am thankful for each and every day I have on this earth.

    • Thanks for sharing that and what you are thankful for. The struggles in life make us appreciate even more the joys and little things around us. I hope you have a great Mother’s Day!

  14. Thank you for focusing on what it NOT materialistic. How refreshing.

  15. Melva Boulware says:

    Thank You so much for these words…. I live with my daughter and her husband and they have four kids 6 and under. My daughter is off work due to medical conditions, so I am here to help with the baby’s and house and that leaves only my son in law to support the whole family. You know the old saying “living paycheck to paycheck” well for us it’s more like day to day and sometimes hour to hour. The stress level is through the roof. I am so grateful for your words, brings things in sight so to speak of what the goal for the whole is here… I love my family so much I have given up my personal life for them. The true reward for this is to see my daughter everyday. and to be a part of my grandchildrens lives and make a difference for them. Every smile, every kiss, every comforting hug with each and every one of them is what life is all about for me and that is all I need.

    • I am sure your family is very thankful for the sacrifices you have made! Being a mother is not always easy, but it is so worth it. Your kids are very lucky to have you and your help! I hope you have a great Mother’s Day.

  16. Jgudorf says:

    I am thankful that I still have my 86 year old Mom and I will be spending Mother’s Day with her. She is a real sweetie and I am going to try and make her day special. That is all I want or need for Mother’s Day.

    • I hope you enjoy your day with your mom! That is what Mother’s Day should be about. Time spent together not the things we may or may not get!

  17. Phyllis says:

    Thank you for this beautiful post. I raised 3 responsible adults who have moved away for school or work. So going out to dinner and seeing all the moms and children is too hard for me. Thanks for reminding me of what is important and that is that I did my job and that I have a loving husband that is still with me.

  18. I think your thoughts on Mother’s Day are pretty much a mirror of mine but isn’t that what mother’s do? Focus on the needs of others. Lest you forget, please also remember your husband, the person that helped you attain that title of “mother”. My husband passed away a little over a year ago and that has added another dimension to my thoughts on this wonderful day we celebrate. blessings today and always judy

  19. That post made me cry………..so often our discouragement is tied to our crazy ideas of what we think we deserve rather than being thankful and content for what we do have. NEEDED this today………….

    On a side note, do you find it at all funny when you are at Walmart or somewhere and some junky looking thing is next to a big sign that says, “the perfect gift for mom?” I am like, really? 😉

  20. Thank you! For such a lovely post! I am going to forward it to my husband. I enjoy the blessing of staying home with my children! He provides and works hard for us. I have tried to tell him every year, I don’t need anything. I get to stay home with our children, home school them, take care of them and HIM! It is because of my husband, I get the joys (and frowns) of staying home. That is the biggest gift/blessing ever! There is nothing on this earth he could give me then what he has already-our 3 boys, a home and the ability to enjoy it!

  21. Thanks for this! I have so much to be thankful for, from and awesome hubby, to a freshly poty-trained three-yr-old, to a six-month-old who has been sleeping 10+ hours straight every night for months already!

  22. I love this, Lynn! Thank you so much for sharing your heart. Like you, I probably won’t be getting any of those things either, but what I have is so much more and means so much more to me than getting those “things” would anyway. I have a husband who loves and encourages me. I have four beautiful children who claim that I am “the best mommy in the world” not just on Mother’s Day. Thank you for the reminder that it is a joy to serve my family…even on Mother’s Day.

  23. Allison says:

    Thanks so much for your encouraging and challenging post. I have enjoyed so many of your recipes since I discovered your website a year and a half ago, and after reading this, I appreciate you even more! Blessed Mother’s Day to you!

  24. WOW our lives are so similar! I was just thinking today that I would LOVE one time to have breakfast in bed but I wake up way before these silly kids and hubby for that to ever happen. The kitchen is mine, too and everyone calls it Susie’s Cafe (aka SusieQTpies Cafe my blog). I don’t even have a mom to spoil but If I did, as an adult I would be doing just that. I don’t expect it from my kids. They do take me out to dinner because we enjoy that as a family.

    I love my crazy family and just enjoy being the wife and mom to them. Whatever comes my way does. I’m content.

    Happy Mother’s Day! Susie

  25. Amen!! Thank you for sharing. I needed to hear those words.

  26. O.K. Lynn, I want to respectfully disagree with your post. I feel you are just making excuses for your husband and children. You are correct that Mother’s Day does not have to look like the retailer’s vision of Mother’s Day, my gifts were very inexpensive, homemade but were still very thoughtful. It doesn’t matter if you are fed soggy peanut butter and jelly, it is important for your kids to learn about serving others. If your husband is not man enough to teach them this it is your responsibility! Maybe have them take cookies to another mother on your block ( or rural road). It is not the final product, it is truly the thought that counts. If you don’t teach them this no one will!

    My family made me a lunch to the best of their abilities, not high cuisine, but edible. they saw me doing this for my mother and grandmother before they passed on and now they know that you always honor your mother, on Mother’s Day and every other day as the bible says.

    Yes, there are some jobs that only mom can do, my washer stopped working and I had to take it apart ( again), the 15 year old fridge is too hot and the milk is spoiled so I am on my hands and knees vacuuming the coils in case that will help (praying that will help), and the heat pump has stopped working… but my family is here with me, they gave me gifts and lunch to the best of their abilities they didn’t take the cop out of traditional female roles to avoid honoring their mother on this day.

  27. My Mother’s Day began at 6:15am when my 13 month old got up. I made breakfast for all of us (waffles, the kids favorite, not mine). We went to church. I made lunch, not just for us, but also for my mom and dad. My husband choose this weekend to rent a Bobcat to work on our yard and we had 5yrds of materials delivered this afternoon (that was the only open slot all weekend). I probably worked harder today than on many other days and certainly with less help from my husband than I normally would have had on a Sunday. All that to say, I understand where you are coming from. Society has over-hyped Mother’s Day (along with most other holidays). Yes, mothers are special, we should be valued and appreciated. We should teach our children to serve others, show appreciation, value family and friends, etc., but holidays are only part of that teaching. We as mothers (and fathers) should teach those values in daily life. It is easy to remember to serve your mother and show how much you value her on Mother’s Day, it is a bit harder to do that every day. Your Mother’s Day was special to you and your family, and that is by far the most important thing about Mother’s Day!!!!

  28. Audrey McNatt says:

    This was the perfect post for me to read. It’s hard to focus on the blessing of being a mother rather than getting wrapped up in the hoopla of it all. This was just what I needed to hear, thank you!

  29. linda payne says:

    I kinda felt this year that I wanted a mother’s day that I didn’t work, but I grateful that my mother’s still living so I made the whole family dinner, transported it to the park that my daughter was working at so we could all be together, because even though breakfast in bed and a nice dinner I didn’t have to make, we’re all still here and some day we won’t be. I did have one request, I usually received lotions from the expensive stores and I know some mother’s would be thrilled, but that is all i get for all the holiday’s for the year and I have as much as the store does, so I requested instead of buying me that, we recently adopted a puppy from a rescue and I asked that the money be donated to them because I know it stays locally, so that made the day feel more worthwhile and hopefully teach some good values

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